A friend of mine said his sister had great "What if" questions. His sister asked him, "What IF.... you and some girl were the only people in the house... and some guy broke in.... and he held the two of you at gunpoint and.... and... he said that if you don't have sex with her he would kill the girl? Would you do it? My friend made me laugh for hours when he said that pussy (Ahem.. I mean... uh... vagina) was too gross and if it wasn't his BFF(Best Friends Forever), then that girl might have to die. If you haven't guessed already, he's gay. I still laugh over the "Penis vs Vagina" debate we had. He said licking a pussy and chopping off her arm and licking the wound were the same thing because they're both open wounds that bleed. I won't go into the details of our debate, just know that it was the funniest conversation I've ever had. Anyway, we got to thinking, WHAT IF there really is this guy that goes around holding people hostage giving them life decisions? I asked a friend of ours(a fellow straight guy), what if the What If Marauder held you and your roommate(also a straight guy) hostage, pointed a gun to your roommates head, looked at you and said, " If you don't fuck him I'm gonna kill him!"? What would you do? He paused, then said," Well.. the guy might have to die.", so we interrogated him further and gave him a very clear understanding of the situation. "You and your buddy, pal, roomie, are hanging out playing video games or something and this dude busts into your apartment, points a gun at him, and with a psychotic look tells you that you gotta fuck him or else he dies. You can see the horror and confusion in your friends eyes. The Marauder then says if you don't make a decision in 30 seconds, you AND your friend die. The lives of you and your friend depend on you. Would you do it?" He let the details sink in, his innate masculinity surfaced, and said, "Naw dude, we would die, I ain't doin no guy". What would you do?
When I think of the What If Marauder, I think of a guy leaping into sight, unfurling a long, black billowing cape to reveal a masked face. The black mask only covering his nose and eyes with opposing question marks for the eyes, brandishing an e'pe'e and an early looking pistol and laughing maniacally. HA ha HA HA HA ha HA!!!!
What kind of What If questions can you conjure?
